Oh the days when all we had to do is stop taking birth control to have another child! Adoption is so much harder, we're in the middle of our 35 hours in 5 weeks. Wow! It's as if we're taking a college class. No homework though, at least none assigned.
Last night we completed our 2nd of 3rd class on Trust Based Relational Intervention. Which is just a fancy way of saying, these kids have issues, and here's a way to help them trust you, have relationship with you, so you as the parent can help them through their issues. You can find more about it here, but the parenting principles are fantastic!
It takes what we as parents know to be true, love on your kids, show them they belong on this planet, make them feel safe, provide for their basic needs, and they respond in the like. I've noticed that if I use my 'mean words' with the boys, they in turn use their's to each other, conversely if I'm calm, cool, and collected in dealing with them, they deal with each other in the same! If I love on them the way they need love, they deal with life better. Of course we'll have to start from negative ground with our new child, because of the likelihood they'll be 'damaged goods', but the tools are fantastic!
How do you deal with a child? Do you speak to them from your full height, NO! Why? Because they don't hear you from up there, if you kneel down to their level, get eye contact, even grab their hands so they are facing you, then they hear you. It's revolutionary! No, it's something mom's have known for years, but the state has just now figured out, ha!
Another thing we learned about was Sensory Processing Disorder, or SPD. You can learn about it here, it made me analyze myself and wonder if maybe, just maybe I might be an SPDer. I'm not a hugger, you can hug me, but I'm not going to initiate a hug unless I really like you. Food for me is all about texture, if it feels weird in my mouth, I'm not going to eat it! I am quite clumsy, tags on shirts freak me out, I won't touch anything that's gross, I hated getting my hair washed as a kid, and as an adult I'm claustrophobic. A name for my craziness, thank goodness, and here I was blaming my brother, poor Eric!
In other news, our home study packet is nearly done, if you are family I will be asking for pictures of you soon, to compile our scrapbook to give our child an idea of what they'll be getting into.... I am glad the packet is done, but I'm not looking forward to the pictures, another reminder of who won't be there..
Till next time,
-A
Adriane! I had NO idea you were adopting!!! My Husband and I are VERY VERY interested in Adopting! We already have one son (7 months old) and want to adopt in the next 3-5 years (i know a long time but i hear the process takes forever).
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you guys!! And interested in picking your brain!
wow! I had no idea :-) You should talk to my sister. They have an adoptive family ministry they are starting up there in Austin. Praying for you guys! ~Heather
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