I also know that dreading this day is ok, that's why this is going up early. I wanted to share how I feel now, because I'm pretty sure come September 2nd I'm not going to want to anymore.
I wanted to be able to finish this year of grief, and finish it the way I feel I was supposed to, out loud. One, because I know God told me too, but two because I've done it first as a teen, and now as an adult. I've got both sides of feelings, and I've run the gambit of emotions. What I've gone through isn't normal (death wasn't part of our original plan, that's why it hurts), but I think it's common. Dealing with death as a Christian isn't easy, we still grieve, we miss, we're fearful, but I do have hope. I am so blessed to know that I WILL see Eric and Dad in heaven someday. As well as Grr-Mom, PaPaw, Judy, and a myriad of other believer's I knew, or want to know, like Abraham (can't wait to meet that guy!).
I had the pleasure of going to Kim-dad's, dad's funeral, (Kim-dad, is who God blessed my family with after we lost my dad, what a blessing to get to have two Godly men to be my dad!) this last week in Abilene (ok Clyde, but nobody knows where that is ;-)) Kim-dad did the service in addition to his sister, and the pastor of the church. Kim-dad did a wonderful job, his part of the service is what I'd been needing to hear for about a year now. And though it was for Nathan Harless, 90 year old husband, father, grandfather, and great grandfather. It was easy to imagine his words were true for Eric. Although Papaw lived 81 of his years with the Lord, and Eric only lived 20 or so of his, they both lived for Christ. It made me wonder what I would have said...
So here is what I didn't get a chance to share at Eric's funeral:
Eric Thomas Hendrickson, grandson, son, brother, husband, father, and friend. You were taken from us too soon, and we still grieve because we miss so much here on earth. But you crammed a whole lot of life into just 27 short years. You began life with a bang, breaking our mom's tail bone on the way out, 6 weeks early. You lived life with a bang, whether it was shooting bb guns (at the fence, which made the bb bounce back and hit me!) or figuring out how to jump off the slide in the pool in our back yard. You loved your explosions, and mom and I feared for the general public when you choose chemistry as a major at A&M. You were always a source of laughter for us. Although I didn't laugh when you were standing in front of the TV, when I was trying to watch, in diapers, I do now, or that silly grin you would always smile when you were up to something. I truly miss the way you would say 'sister', I can't wait till I hear it again, I miss being your sister. The way you lived your life made us proud, even when you were cheating at games! You grew into the man, I know Dad would have been proud of, and is proudly showing you off in heaven as I type this, I'm sure. You knew life was hard, and you had to work for the things that mattered, you were a peacemaker, you were a thinker, you were smart but not conceited, you were a God lover and a Jesus Freak. You were a great communicator, you were eloquent, and purposeful with your words, you were a tinkerer, you could create amazing things with your hands. You had wonderful voice, deep and comforting. You loved well and often, and you didn't leave things unsaid.
What have I learned over this year? To speak when you feel you are supposed to, when God places someone on your heart, call them, pray for them, talk to them, you might not have another chance. Communicate with those you love, that you love them, care for them, hold them dear. Hold your loved ones tight when they are with you, and know that Jesus holds them when they're gone. Don't hold grudges, it only hurts you. Prayer really does make a difference, you should do it, often, consistently, and when God puts someone on your mind, you should pray for them, even if it's in the middle of the night. Share with your kids and those around you what you're dealing with, to help yourself, to encourage them that God is there in hard times, and to show your kids that you aren't just a Sunday Christian, but a Monday-Saturday one too! God doesn't leave you, ever, and He speaks, even when you can't hear Him with your ears, through His Bible. God put you in the place you are for a reason, and He has a purpose for you, even in hard times, He's got plans for your life. Scripture memory isn't just for Awana's but for real life, and read the verses around the popular verses to get the complete content! Life is tough, but God is enough, catchy and cliche-y but true!
September 2 is almost here, I'm not ready for it, but God is, and He'll get me through this year's like he got me through last year's. Pray for me, my family, this year is going to be tough, but pray for your family too, and when God places someone on your heart, learn from what I didn't do last Sept 2, call that person, talk to him/her, you may not get another chance...
--A
PS. I think it's pretty awesome that our Lord will put special verses that speak right to where you are, David, you know King David went through some pretty tough stuff, before he became King, and he wrote this, and wow, I'm glad I had it memorized because I've said it a million times to myself this past year.
Psalm 23
A psalm of David. 1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
This is really beautiful and such an honoring tribute to Eric. Thanks for writing.
ReplyDelete~Heather